Public Gatherings
These gatherings give us space and structure to practice the fundamentals of being in community with each other. In these events, we practice listening with curiosity, speaking from our own experience, giving and receiving feedback, asking better questions, and focusing on what we are excited about. All while sharing personal stories about gratitude, humility, patience, joy, and love.
Anyone’s invited!
New folks, long-time attendees, and everyone in between.
Content is Focused and Constructive
Every gathering begins with a conversation starter and a series of questions. Both are carefully curated to focus the group's attention on what is good and constructive.
Imagine, if you will, a group of 20 random people gathered to talk about something. And then imagine two different possible futures…
In future A, we ask, “What do you think is the biggest problem with kids today?” In possible future B, we prompt, “Tell us a story about a young person in your life who brings you hope and comfort.” Let those conversations start to play out in your head.
See what I’m saying?
That second question creates a very different space, and I'm aware of at least two big reason why. 1) It asks participants to remember an actual person from their lived experience. Repeating opinions from (insert news channel here) does not count. And 2) the question encourages people to focus on the good. Focus on what “brings hope and comfort.” Which, in my experience, is a much more constructive and inspiring place to work from.
Krista Tippett says that “Questions elicit answers in their likeness” (source), and we plan to bake this wisdom into everything we do for Flipped Church.
Here are a few more questions to further demonstrate what I'm talking about. “Who is it really easy for you to have patience with?” “Where have you felt most at peace? And what happened the last time you went there?” etc.
Expectations are Explained and Demonstrated
Practice time is highly structured so that folks know exactly what is expected of them at all times. More time is allocated to giving instructions, and there are demonstrations to help people to learn the “rules.”
For example, we’d never send folks off into random groups with the instruction to “take turns telling stories for 10 minutes.”
Instead, the facilitator will take a few minutes to explain the plan, demonstrate, split everyone into groups of three, and give each group a pre-programmed timer (so that quiet people get time to speak and talkers know when it’s time to stop talking). This process takes less than 5 minutes, and it is essential for setting expectations — especially when there are new folks in the crowd.
We want everyone to know what is expected of them. That way, if someone starts to break the rules, it’s not surprising when that person is asked to pause, to try again, or to step outside.
Members Only Gatherings
Before I dive in here, I want to clarify that everything to follow is hypothetical and not required for the Flipped Church format to work. The goals of the Public Gatherings are more than enough to keep a community busy for years. But after a while, I think practiced members will start to want something more. Something that takes those skills acquired over months of practice and gives them room to grow. These hypothetical Members Only Gatherings are where folks take the skills they’ve learned in the relative safety of the group and put them into practice. You can think of the Public Gatherings as happening in a green house; relatively controlled, consistent, and carefully designed. And the Members Only groups are like gardens — where we put that early growth to the test.
I know what you're thinking: "Is THIS the part that’s a cult?" Nahhh, it’s pretty chill actually.
Who can join?
Anyone can become a member. In order to join, you must do the following:
- Attend at least 40 public gatherings.
- Agree in writing to a list of group expectations.
Why 40 public gatherings? Idk, but it’s a nice serious number. Difficult, but achievable in a year. And it feels like a "growth" number. You know, 40 days in the boat, 40 days in the desert, etc.
We briefly considered an entrance test, but that brought up a whole host of problems. A contract feels like the perfect solution! Anyone can join, and their behavior IS the test. Life is the test. If someone fails to adhere to the expectations and fails to take feedback seriously, they may temporarily lose their membership. We’ll need to define a system for adjudicating conflict… but we can get into all that when the time comes.
Difficulty and Complexity are Welcomed
The conversation starters are the same for Public and Members Only Gatherings. The difference is in the way those starters are discussed. The facilitator of a Public Gathering will carefully guide conversations by asking pre-selected questions. In Members Only Gatherings, participants are encouraged to create their own questions and to discover what those particular conversations have to offer.
Here are a few ideas I’m excited to test out when the time comes…
Idea 1 - Bring your own question. Split into groups of three and go around giving each person about 30 seconds to share one or two questions that they would like to discuss. The group can then take turns reacting and responding to each other's questions. It’s less about finding answers, and more about honoring and respecting each other's questions. Each group is expected to manage themselves. Whoever isn’t speaking is expected to act as a facilitator on behalf of their peers. And the person speaking should be ready to receive feedback at any time.
Idea 2 - Choose your own adventure. This idea start with a “pitch competition” of sorts. Everyone who wants to put a question up for discussion writes their Q down on a sticky note and posts it on the wall. Once all the questions have been read, folks join whichever group they are most excited to contribute to. In this way, the community is able to focus in on whatever is most pertinent in their lives and discuss with people for whom that is also true.
Idea 3 - Group goal setting. This is a type of event that would happen at pre-determined times outside of the usual weekly agenda. I’ve written more about it here: How to Set Goals at Church.
I’m getting excited just thinking about it!! Imagine a group of semi-random people who can say what they really think and listen to one another. A community where norms are known and upheld. Where each person is given time to share and knows their thoughts are being heard. Sign me up!
